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Leaders and Followers: A Ho’oponopono Lesson

Are you a leader or a follower?

It usually comes naturally. Without any thought.

Until we are asked to switch positions…that’s when things can get a bit chaotic.

I always say, 4-Hand Lomi is a Ho’oponopono class. 

Tandem flow is a more modern expression of Lomi Lomi that involves two therapists, working together for healing in one client.

There is a leader. There is a follower.  And the results can be transformative. Bliss for the client and expansive for the therapist.  Let me explain…

Last week, during our Month-long Lomi Lomi Immersion, we began the 4-Hand Lomi course. I introduced the idea that we would be learning to work with others.  In 4-Hand Lomi, we practice non-verbal communication. We synchronize rhythm and flow and breath.  With each other.  With the client.

Imagine a sacred triad.  Two Lomi practitioners calling in Spirit.  Holding sacred space for another.  The third involvement comes from the person lying on the table and all of their guidance.  Amazing!

Here were some of the responses on Day One:

“This might be a challenge for me.  I can be controlling and even anal at times.”

“I am very particular about who I want to work with.”

“It’s taken me a really long time to feel safe in a group.  But I think I’m ready for this…”

“I don’t like 4-hand Lomi. I am a solo artist, and that’s how I like it.”

Imagine the energetics in a room full of people learning to work together with a statement like that?

Here’s my thought…in Lomi, you are never working alone.  It’s spiritual work filled with spiritual connection. Power. Amplified. 

In Lomi, you are working with your guides. The client’s guides.  Ancestors. Spirit.  There is no such thing as a solo artist.

If you THINK you are working all by  yourself, PLAN to work alone and DECIDE that’s the way you want to work…then ALONE is exactly where you’ll be. Expending tons of energy. Exhausted.

Let me offer an alternative… Lomi Lomi.  Work with Spirit. Have more energy. More insight. Infinite amount of knowledge that you have access to for the person that’s lying on the table and more. More than you can imagine can be happening.

Transformation. Divine transformation. Miracles.

Going back to my story of the 4-hand Lomi class:

Day 2: The person who “didn’t feel safe” in groups was having little bickering sessions in-between breaks and classes with other classmates.  Essentially creating an environment that wasn’t safe. An environment where the projected energetic is not feeling safe.

Day 3: Guess who ends up getting tagged to work together?  “I Control Who I Choose to Work With” and “I Don’t Feel Safe”

Within the first five minutes, you hear from the other side of the room,

“You better stop bossing me around. You don’t tell me what to do. I’m the leader.”

And then, about ten minutes later, there’s another outburst.

Again, it’s the same one, who felt unsafe. And now, she’s yelling at the other therapist in the middle of the class. Everyone feels disrupted. Everybody’s who’s focusing and breathing and in their rhythm and in their bliss, and we’re all now interrupted by this screaming tirade.

Everyone is feeling agitated. Annoyed that the environment is being infiltrated with negative energy. Now, there’s yelling…

“You’re being unprofessional!”

“Stop bossing me around!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“If you don’t leave, I will!”

Leaving is always a choice.

When we feel uncomfortable, we can deselect and simply get out of the situation.

Demanding respect is another choice. Unfortunately, when we’re acting in a way that’s disrespectful of others, we are never going to get it. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When we are seeking to control a situation where are supposed to be the followers… When we’re seeking to control a situation and feel upset that we have to work with someone, the energetics are felt, whether we’re saying it or not.

In the end, the one left and the one who had the tirade ended up staying. And I felt that the only thing left to do, was call in the clean-up crew.

I looked outside. I prayed for the ancestors to come and make some rain because the room was so heavy. But there was not a cloud in the sky, and no rain was coming.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do. I created my own Pakai ceremony of cleansing. And I began to weep. Tears of water and salt to purify. Crying tears over the hearts.

I used myself as the vessel for helping to clear and clean the space.

I led everybody through a meditation to heal a crying out of an inner child needing love.

It wasn’t just the two that were fighting in the classroom. It was everybody. Including me.

As I prayed, I asked everyone to anchor in more light and love into the space.  I asked everybody’s higher spirit to rise and embrace them.  To embrace the inner child within each and every person in the group.

I let go of any roles or masks of teacher-student. I released the notion of the teacher to be professional or hold it together. Because what was needed in the moment, was something real. Something authentic. And something from the heart.

The result? Transformed energy. Peace returned to the classroom. Everybody gave their inner child’s spirit a giant hug. And we were able to proceed and finish the class.

Everybody received exactly what they needed to receive that day.  Exactly what they asked for.

If you are stating to the universe, “I’m going to be challenged because this is my stuff”. You make it so.

If you say to the universe, “I am unsafe in this world,” you will create an environment where you don’t feel safe and people don’t want you there.

Try this instead…

 “I’m going to hold this sacred space.”

I could’ve made a choice, “I’m going to hold it together and choose not to let energy flow in the way it needs to go.”  But then that room would have burst in frustration. Someone probably would’ve started yelling at the one who was yelling. And who knows what would have happened?

Sometimes we just need to go with the rhythm that’s in front of us. Synchronize with a greater aspect of ourselves. Celebrate the inner child and the ability of our own tears to cleanse and clean our hearts. Help clean around us, offering more love, more compassion, more allowing of people to be exactly where they’re at without shaming anyone.

Where our thoughts go energy flows.

I am grateful for the ‘Ohana, and the opportunity to be authentic. To hold a sacred space of healing, even if it doesn’t look like what you think.

Be Authentic. Meet people where they’re at. Be willing to be flexible. We are not limited.

There are no limits. No boundaries. No boxes. Only the ones that we put ourselves in.

We can lead and we can follow. We can love and we can cry. And I encourage you to find that authentic truth within yourself.

I would love to hear from you…are you giving plenty of love and compassion and allowance to your inner child? What does that look like for you?

I read and appreciate every one of your comments.  Leave them below:

With aloha,Jeana Iwalani NaluaiPS: We have just released our Lomi Lomi Calendar for 2018.  Come to Maui and learn Lomi Lomi.  

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Joan HaneyCarolineBarbara CavalcaDiane LarkinTracey Lakainapali Recent comment authors
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Joan Haney
Joan Haney

That was such a beautiful story Jeana. You handled the situation with pure Aloha. It gives me chicken skin. Mahalo for sharing this lesson with everyone. Your Love can be felt.
I look forward to attending workshops in the future. :0)


Thankyou for sharing <3 I love lomi lomi and your posts are always welcome in my news feed …………..

Barbara Cavalca
Barbara Cavalca

Dear Jena Thank you for your courage to write about your classes. I find it a interesting possibilities to exchange expeariences. Since the 1980 i am in bodywork. Teaching ad reciving. If in a group is a particular “problematic” person, the tendencies that the group Niveau goes down is higher, than that the group supports or overplays the particular person. Best is to Analyse the problematic persons in a group as soon as possible and to treat them in a adapted way, so that they feel taken in a save care of the teacher or in extrem cases to make… Read more »

Diane Larkin
Diane Larkin

Aloha Kumu,
I know it has appeared silent here, on my end. I want you to know that I have viewed every class and I read your blogs. I am forever grateful for you and this opportunity to receive these teachings on a weekly basis. It is making such a difference in my life. And many times you talk about exactly what I need to hear in that moment. My heart is filled with Aloha. Mahalo

Tracey Lakainapali

Mahalo for this fantastically, articulate piece. I know you know that I understand and that I was laughing at times reading it – it brought back so many memories of various ‘teaching incidents’. Deep HA breaths 🙂


Your sweet! 🙂

Tobi Lessem

Powerful anecdote. I could feel all the different energies in the story. As I prepare myself for leading my own transfer of Lomi Lomi in a forum tonite, I am especially appreciative of this reminder. The inner child, the teacher, the projected energies and self fulfilling prophecies. I will have the intention to hold space for everyone to come as they are. Mahalo for sharing.

Autumn DeCosta
Autumn DeCosta

Thank you for this… always the words I need to hear as I am sitting here crying. I know…that I know… that I know how powerful my beliefs and thoughts are and yet still find myself in more of the non-loving unhealed fear based thoughts. Thank you for the reminder that I can call upon spirit to support me in being the vessel of light, love and guidance of not what to do but how to be. I get stuck in the what do I do? I must DO something. Less Do more Being. Third message of this within the… Read more »

Javier Arroyo
Javier Arroyo

Thank you so much for your words a much needed in my life in this time I will do my best to be strong and let go of the negative feelings, I will and I am a good I can and will say the right words to be positive for everyone and for myself thank you Namaste

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