Let’s talk about what it means to let Love in. Give love with wild abandon.
When I was teaching in Ireland this summer, I opened up my schedule in the evening to do a few sessions after class.
It was a beautiful space with a gorgeous prayer flag up on the wall. Tiny proverbs were written on it. As I walked into the room, I noticed it and thought, “how lovely.”
When my client arrived, he told me he’d driven two hours to receive this session. He’d never had Lomi Lomi before. He didn’t know anyone in our community but when he saw the announcement on Facebook, he came.
“I don’t know anyone here. I just knew that I needed to come.” he said.
And I thought, “Wow. This man drove two hours for one hour of Lomi Lomi? He must really be ready to manifest something powerful in his life.”
I asked him, “What is it that you want?”
“I want love.”
And began to tell me about his mother who had recently passed. She lived her lifetime holding back her love.
“I think the reason she did that was because she had fallen in love at a very young age and gotten pregnant out of wedlock. In my community that just was not accepted.
So she lived with a lot of shame. When I came along, I had to hear about that shame. Our family lived in that shame within our community. It was hard.
There was arrested development in that area of her being. She stopped loving freely and started holding back.
Because I grew up in that same way, I found myself growing into an adult and doing the same. I got married. Had children. But I found myself holding my love back. And it cost me.
My marriage ended. Our children are grown. My daughter is off at college. And when she came home from her internship recently she seemed tense, stressed out. Preoccupied.
She sat down and let me massage her and I said, ‘Wow, you’re so tense.’
She started telling me about her life. The stress. The feelings of disconnection. When I asked why, she replied, ‘Well, I learned it from you. I learned it from the best.'”
For the first time, it really hit home for him. Holding back love wasn’t just his mother’s problem. Or his problem. Holding Back Love was now being perpetuated, from generation to generation.
His daughter was the perfect inspiration to take action. When he saw the opportunity to come and receive Lomi, he drove two hours and made his request: I want love.
When he arrived on my table, I asked him, “Tell me your first thoughts around love.”
And he said, “Well, I have all these women in my community who are friends. There have been opportunities for a relationship, but every time I get too close, I back away. These woman are left wondering what they did wrong.
I notice the same thing with my children. I’m a farmer and I even notice it with my animals. Horses, cats, dogs…they lavish me with so much love, but I find myself also holding my love back.”
He continued, “I’m afraid of hurting someone. I’m afraid that someone might leave me.” Every thought that he had around love was wrapped in a not-so-pretty package of fear.
Sometimes we have to change the scripts and stories we tell ourselves.
All of our thought needs to align with the things we most desire in life. Otherwise, we unintentionally block them from our experience.
The first thing I noticed as I began the Lomi session was that he was so stiff behind his heart. His breath was very shallow. I wanted to get up onto the table and walk on him, but he was flinching any time I went to use deep pressure. So I thought, “He’s probably not going to be able to tolerate me walking on his back.”
But when I asked about the pressure and he said, “Oh, you can give way more.”, I decided, “Okay, that’s my cue. I’m going to walk on him.”
There was an emotional response. A lot of sound. Really letting go. And I was so proud of him.
As I was walking on his back, I was facing the prayer flag. Right in the middle, I saw the word love. Just beneath the word love was a beautiful Chinese proverb…….
Love is an inspired form of giving, love breathes life into the heart and brings grace to the soul
And this was the answer that he needed.
After I read this proverb, I realized that his problem wasn’t that he needed to receive love or even be open to receiving love. He needed to learn how to give love and allow the breath of Aloha, the grace of spirit to breathe life into his heart.
How to let Aloha breathe Love into your Heart?
Start with positive affirmations around love. For example, I will love with wild abandon. No boundaries. Without condition. No matter what anybody might think or what the outcome may be. Be so full in the moment of love, that it’s overflowing to the point where you lose yourself loving with wild abandon.
Start with your family. The first thing I want you to do is give a hug. The arms are an extension of your heart. Breathe while you’re hugging someone and really feel that embrace. A loving embrace can go a long way. And that’s a perfect place to start.
I told my client, “Hug your daughter. Hug your son. Start hugging those animals. And when you feel comfortable with that, start hugging your community. Hug the postman. Hug the grocery lady. And by the time you come back here next year, I want to hear that you have become the town hugger.”
Sometimes, you just need somewhere to start.
I’m holding high faith for this man to step into his gift of giving love. When you learn how to give love and fill your heart with aloha, there’s no space for fear. There’s no space for fear to sabotage the love you’re calling in to your experience.
So today, I want you to hug someone. I want you to love with wild abandon. Choose Love. Some people live their whole lives without even experiencing love. Don’t let that be you.
Open your arms. Let love in. The best way to learn about love is to give it.
Kumu Jeana Iwalani Naluai
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